Sigh. I battled with myself mentally about whether I should bring this up or not. If I want to share it with you all, but then I remembered my mission to inspire others to find comfort in life while being an introvert. How can I expect to inspire if I keep the bad parts of life away from you? I never wanted to be one of the perfect life with a great family and rich lifestyle type of blogger. I want to be transparent with you all. So, I’m writing this post on how to survive life for you and for me. Because, how the hell do you survive life?
Living as an introvert
I’m currently going through a very tough time in my life. I was honest about losing my grandmother last year so I’ll be honest with this situation.
My grandfather is currently on a ventilator in ICU due to a heart attack a few days ago.
Losing my grandmother was scary, I never experienced a loss of someone so close to me before, and I had a lot of guilt involved. However, with my grandfather, it’s taking a different toll on me. Instead of being afraid of what am I going to do without him (if things go bad), I’m more stressed over not wanting to get depressed like I did last year. That makes me feel bad because, of course I care for and love my grandfather.
We had a great relationship, my grammie and I, but because of my introverted personality, I never really talked to her openly about…well, much of anything.
I remember one day while she was at the rehab home for her knee, I was visiting her for about two or three hours. I spoke excitedly to her about my blogging progress and adventures for about 20 minutes then things got really quiet between us. She didn’t really have the strength and energy to talk much so it was my job to make the conversation and keep things lively. Somewhere in the middle of my visit to her, she asked “you don’t really like to talk much, do you, Brie?” My heart broke when she asked that. I didn’t know how to answer. My grammie had looked hurt by my quietness and I felt like shit for it.
I didn’t know what else to do or say. Needless to say, I didn’t spend time with her much, alone, anymore after that and now I wish I had. It’s kind of the same thing with my grandfather. You’d think I had learned my lesson but nope. Stubborn introverted Brie is still very present. And Now that he is in the hospital, I feel like I’ve missed out so much. I literally live with him and yet I haven’t spoke anything other than “good morning, papa!” to him. It’s even been a while since I’ve said that because he didn’t like to come out of his room.
Okay, where am I going with this? Maybe I was ranting a bit and maybe I went too far with the transparency, but my point is: Life is hard and it sucks sometimes. Being an introvert is received differently for others. My quietness is taken for rudeness and ‘not wanting to have fun’. It makes me feel horrible with loved ones. I want to talk to them and make jokes and memories but my socialization method rarely includes talking, so it’s hard to find that level of communication that we both feel comfortable in.
How to survive life
What God saysbe happy when you have hope, patient with your troubles, and pray all the time. Click To Tweet
First I want to share with you some words from God. I try to keep my blog religious-free because I know that not everyone believes in God or is a Christian. However, I am a Christian woman and when life gets hard (even when life isn’t hard), I go directly to God first and foremost. All scriptures will be in New King James Version, to easily translate these messages into another version or language, you can use the Bible App.
“Is anyone among you suffering? Let him pray. Is anyone cheerful? Let him sing psalms.” James 5:13
“Casting all your cares upon Him, for He cares for you.” 1 Peter 5:7
“rejoicing in hope, patient in tribulation, continuing steadfastly in prayer,” Romans 12:12
In plain terms, Romans 12:12 says to be happy when you have hope, patient with your troubles, and pray all the time. This scripture just hit me like a bus. Since my grandfather has been in the hospital I have been praying. I’ve been giving my worries and fears to God and drown myself in work so I can’t take them back.
Free Therapy App Youper
I used this app religiously after my grandmother had passed away. Talking about my feelings and expressing my deepest thoughts was never an easy thing for me to do. I had therapy with an in-real-life therapist literally once in my life. I was diagnosed as bipolar, severely depressed, and low-key split personality disorder. This was all when I was 16.
With Youper, I can express my feelings, take as long as I need to and get help. Not a diagnosis. The fun thing about this app is that, it’s free, easy to setup and use, and you can take a 5 to 10 minute test to see what personality you have (i’m INFP), or find out if you’re on the brink of depression, whether or not you have anxiety…etc. If you find out that you are suffering from a mental disease or disorder and you do want to get help, there’s nothing wrong with that.
One more thing I would like to mention is lessons on life that are important to me. I was reminded of these lessons through HuffPost.
You are responsible for your own life and always have the choice and the power to change things.
You are stronger and more resourceful than you know.
The pain you’re living through is only temporary and leading you towards new and better things.
When my family and friends ask how I’m doing, I tell them I’m okay. It’s not entirely the truth as I feel I could break at any moment but saying I’m okay out loud will eventually trigger my brain into believing that I am truly okay. And I’d rather be okay than to be the broken, confused, scared mess that I am right now. It’s my method of how I survive life and it works for me. Please be aware that this method may not work for you though.
Finding a method of how to survive life isn’t a manual that we can all follow. It’s different for everyone and people deal with hardships differently than others.